| ---------- Forwarded message
---------- From: Little Sheep <littlesheep22@yahoo.com> Date: Wed, Apr 22, 2009 at 10:57 PM Subject: [jewishadvocates] yated "ne'eman" and sexual abuse To: jewishadvocates@yahoogroups.com
the first
letter to
the editor
in the yated
this week is
a mangled
version of
one that i
sent them.
for the
record, i
DID NOT
withhold my
name. i
signed it
little
sheep, as i
always do. i
am posting
here my
original
letter, and
their
mangled
version
below it.
my original letter: I want to commend you for having the courage to come out in the open and discuss a topic as controversial and uncomfortable as abuse and molestation in the frum communities. Please realize that as difficult as it is for you to write about it, imagine how much more difficult it is for someone like me, for whom it is a daily reality.
Nobody
is quite
sure
when my
abuse
started.
We
assume
that it
went on
for
about
five
years,
before I
somehow
mustered
up the
courage
to tell
my
parents
that a
close
relative
of mine
was
continuously
abusing
me. On a
steady
basis,
my
privacy
and
humanity
were
being
violated
in the
most
horrific
ways.
It's
been ten
years
since
then.
Ten
years of
therapy,
of
depression,
of
medication,
of
guilt.
Ten
years in
which
the mere
mention
of my
abuser's
name
sets off
panic
attacks.
Ten
years of
nightmares.
Ten
years of
torture.
And the
worst
part, as
Rabbi
Lipshitz
mentioned,
is the
shame
and the
silence.
My very
own
family
members
know
that I
have
some
'issues'
but they
think it
is just
me.
What
they
don't
know is
that it
is not
me,
but
rather a
very
sick and
perverted
relative
of
theirs.
What
they
don't
know is
that I
suffer
silently.
I suffer
from
such a
complete
lack of
understanding
from
everyone
around
me. I am
constantly
fielding
shidduch
calls,
but
people
don't
realize
that I
can't
even
dream
about
going on
a date
with a
man. I
have
memories
that
none of
my peers
can
understand.
I have
urges to
do
things
that
nobody
around
me can
begin to
imagine.
I have
thoughts,
feelings
and
ideas
that
would
make
some of
my
friends
run from
me.
I
believe
that
proper
support
is the
first
step
towards
healing,
and
therefore,
I am
working
{together
with
rabbanim
and
therapists}
to
develop
a
network
of girls
from
frum
homes
who have
been
abused,
and are
looking
to heal
together
with me.
Please
email
me:
littlesheffele@gmail.com
Thank
you for
your
courage,
and for
your
support,
and for
giving
us this
voice,
i am asking
you, my
readers, to
email this
to everyone
you know who
reads the
yated. i
want MY
voice heard,
not what the
yated feels
like
publishing!Little Sheep what the yated published: I want to commend you for having the courage to come out in the open and discuss a topic as controversial and uncomfortable as abuse in the frum community. Please realize that as difficult as it is for you to write about it, imagine how much more difficult it is for someone like me, for whom it is a daily reality. On a steady basis, my humanity was being violated in the most horrific ways. It's been ten years since then. ten years of therapy, depression, medication, and guilt. Ten years during which the mere mention of my abusers name set off panic attacks. Ten years of nightmares. Ten years of torture. And the worst part, as rabbi lipshutz mentioned, is the shame and silence. My very own family members know that I have some "issues", but they think it's just me. What they don't know is that I suffer silently. I suffer from such a complete lack of understanding from everyone around me. I believe that proper support is the first step towards healing, and therefore, I am working, together with rabbanim and therapists, to develop a network of individuals from frum homes who have been abused and can look to heal together with me. Thank you for your courage, for your support, and for giving us this voice. (and despite the fact that i signed it as little sheep, they chose to sign me off as "name withheld") |
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---------- Forwarded message
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From: asher lipner <lipnera@gmail.com> Date: Fri, Apr 24, 2009 at 12:04 PM Subject: [jewishadvocates] Fwd: Important: must read To: jewishadvocates@yahoogroups.com
----------
Forwarded
message
----------
From: miriam weiss <miriam344@yahoo.com> Date: Thu, Apr 23, 2009 at 12:49 PM Subject: Important: must read To: lipnera@gmail.com, nuchem <nr5155@gmail.com>
---------- Forwarded message
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From: asher.lipner <lipnera@gmail.com> Date: Fri, Apr 24, 2009 at 4:39 PM Subject: [jewishadvocates] Re: Op-Ed in Vos Iz Neias from Asher Lipner To: jewishadvocates@yahoogroups.com
Thank you Elliot. I
want everyone to
know that the Aguda
reads this stuff as
I just got off the
phone with Rabbi
Zweibel. Therefore
please feel free to
post a comment
either with name or
aonymously showing
support for the
Markey bill. Our
voices are being
heard.
Asher --- In jewishadvocates@yahoogroups.com, "efpasik" <efpasik@...> wrote: > > Vos Iz Neias, the most popular web site in the yeshiva and Chassidish world, has become a real friend. They promoted Albany Lobby Day, with a link to our JBAC web site. Please now read the very strong Op-Ed from JBAC Vice-President Asher Lipner. He answers Aguda, and the comments are in our favor. > > http://www.vosizneias.com/30531/2009/04/23/new-york-op-ed-agudath-israel-and-the-markey-bill-financial-bankruptcy-vs-moral-bankruptcy/ > > Elliot Pasik
---- Forwarded message ----------
From: asher lipner <lipnera@gmail.com> Date: Thu, Apr 2, 2009 at 8:04 PM Subject: [jewishadvocates] Fwd: BREAKING: Brooklyn DA Announces New Plan To Urge Reporting Of Abuse To: jewishadvocates@yahoogroups.com
---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: <hellawinston@nyc.rr.com> Date: 2009/4/2 Subject: BREAKING: Brooklyn DA Announces New Plan To Urge Reporting Of Abuse To: http://www.thejewishweek.com/viewArticle/c36_a15385/News/New_York.html
---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: asher lipner <lipnera@gmail.com> Date: Fri, Apr 3, 2009 at 3:54 PM Subject: [jewishadvocates] Fwd: FYI To: jewishadvocates@yahoogroups.com
---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Mayer Fertig <mfertig@thejewishstar.com> Date: Fri, Apr 3, 2009 at 3:48 PM Subject: FYI To: asher lipner <lipnera@gmail.com> http://thejewishstar.wordpress.com/2009/04/03/breaking-child-abuse-bill-criticized-as-red-herring-makes-it-out-of-committee-after-all/ Mayer Fertig Publisher & Editor-in-Chief The Jewish Star 2 Endo Boulevard Garden City, NY 11530 Independent and original reporting from the Orthodox communities of Long Island www.thejewishstar.com www.thejewishstar.wordpress.com Office - 516-632-5205 x.4 Fax - 516-569-4942 Cell - 908-370-6202
---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Nathan Rosenberg <nr5155@gmail.com> Date: Fri, Apr 3, 2009 at 4:44 AM Subject: Fwd: [jewishadvocates] Fwd: BREAKING: Brooklyn DA Announces New Plan To Urge Reporting Of Abuse To: mitvah <mitvah@013.net>
---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: asher lipner <lipnera@gmail.com> Date: Thu, Apr 2, 2009 at 8:04 PM Subject: [jewishadvocates] Fwd: BREAKING: Brooklyn DA Announces New Plan To Urge Reporting Of Abuse To: jewishadvocates@yahoogroups.com
---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: <hellawinston@nyc.rr.com> Date: 2009/4/2 Subject: BREAKING: Brooklyn DA Announces New Plan To Urge Reporting Of Abuse To: http://www.thejewishweek.com/viewArticle/c36_a15385/News/New_York.html
__._,_.__
---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: asher lipner <lipnera@gmail.com> Date: Thu, Apr 2, 2009 at 8:04 PM Subject: [jewishadvocates] Fwd: BREAKING: Brooklyn DA Announces New Plan To Urge Reporting Of Abuse To: jewishadvocates@yahoogroups.com
---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: <hellawinston@nyc.rr.com> Date: 2009/4/2 Subject: BREAKING: Brooklyn DA Announces New Plan To Urge Reporting Of Abuse To: http://www.thejewishweek.com/viewArticle/c36_a15385/News/New_York.html
---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: NY Therapist <nytherapist@gmail.com> Date: Thu, Apr 2, 2009 at 8:57 PM Subject: Re: [jewishadvocates] Re: Story from NYPOST.COM To: Michael Lesher <michaellesher@optonline.net> Cc: jewishadvocates@yahoogroups.com
Try this link to get the book for $23 instead of the $35 on the list price.
http://astore.amazon.com/frumtherapist-20/detail/1584656719 Chaim
On Thu, Apr 2, 2009 at 8:15 PM, Michael Lesher <michaellesher@optonline.net> wrote:
---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: asher lipner <lipnera@gmail.com> Date: Thu, Apr 2, 2009 at 7:49 PM Subject: [jewishadvocates] Fwd: Story from NYPOST.COM from asher lipner To: jewishadvocates@yahoogroups.com 
asher thought you would find this story from NYPOST.COM interesting:
HYNES HIT FOR 'LIP SERVICE' To sign up for Daily Newsletter Alerts, please visit http://www.nypost.com/php/newsletter/classify_newsletter_clicks.php
---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: asher lipner <lipnera@gmail.com> Date: Wed, Apr 1, 2009 at 8:11 PM Subject: [jewishadvocates] Fwd: Showdown Over Bills On Sex-Abuse Statute To: jewishadvocates@yahoogroups.com
---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Hella Winston <hellawinston@nyc.rr.com> Date: Wed, Apr 1, 2009 at 1:31 PM Subject: Showdown Over Bills On Sex-Abuse Statute To: Asher Lipner <lipnera@gmail.com> Showdown Over Bills On Sex-Abuse Statuteby Hella Winston The bills are sponsored by Margaret Markey (D-Queens) and Vito Lopez (D-Brooklyn) respectively, and have already set up a showdown, pitting survivors of abuse and their advocates — who support the Markey bill — against major Catholic and Jewish institutions, which are backing the Lopez version. The Markey bill, which made it out of the Assembly Codes Committee earlier this month by a vote of 11-8, extends the civil and criminal statutes of limitations for child sexual abuse. More significantly, it creates a one-year window during which In California, similar “window legislation” cost the Catholic Church $1.2 billion in settlements, while also publicly identifying some 300 pedophiles who had previously been beyond the reach of the law due to short statutes of limitations. The Lopez bill, which failed to garner enough votes earlier this month but was revised and voted out of the committee on Wednesday by a margin of 18-1, also extends the statutes of limitations, though by fewer years than Markey’s bill. More significant, however, the Lopez bill contains no provision for a window. The sole “no” vote was cast by Assemblyman Daniel O’Donnell, a Democrat whose district includes portions of the Upper West Side, Morningside Heights, Manhattan Valley and West Harlem. According to advocates for victims of child sexual abuse, opening a one-year window in which currently time-barred claims can be brought is crucial. This, they say, is because it typically takes victims decades to come to terms with their abuse, let alone feel able to speak out about it and confront their abusers publicly. Those who support a window note its role not only in providing some measure of justice to victims, but also in identifying previously unnamed sexual predators, who most likely would otherwise continue preying on children. “The purpose of the Markey bill is to expose the pedophiles who have been out there and hiding,” said Michael Dowd, an attorney who has successfully represented Catholic victims of child sexual abuse. “[The Lopez bill] just ignores the central problem. If you were going to have a bill that made any sense, you would have a bill that had a window. If you want to have it apply to public and private institutions, fine. But not to do anything about past sexual abuse is not doing anything to uncover pedophiles.” Groups that supported the Lopez bill in its first incarnation include the Catholic Conference, the Sephardic Community Federation and the United Jewish Organizations, a Williamsburg-based social services organization whose head, Rabbi David Niederman, has close ties to Lopez and to the United Talmudic Academy (UTA). UTA is a Satmar yeshiva that is currently being sued for $5 million by Joel Engelman, who alleges that a teacher at the school molested him when he was 8 years old. His suit contends that the yeshiva entered into a promise with Engelman to fire the teacher, which it did, until a few days after Engleman turned 23 and was beyond the statute of limitations. While Brooklyn Assemblyman Dov Hikind, who has publicly championed the cause of sexual abuse victims since last summer, was a co-sponsor of Markey’s bill, he was also a co-sponsor of the first Lopez bill. In fact, Hikind recently told the Five Towns Jewish Star that he was opposed to the window provision in Markey’s bill and is now a co-sponsor on the revamped Lopez bill. Hikind did not return calls seeking comment. According to Marci Hamilton, professor of law at Cardozo Law School and author of “Justice Denied: What America Must Do to Protect Its Children,” the “correct name for the new Lopez bill [should be] ‘The Hide the Predator Act.’” “Unlike the Markey bill, this bill does absolutely nothing to help New Yorkers identify the many secret child predators in New York, who have been benefiting from the short statutes of limitations for decades. With the Markey bill, we have a proven method of finding the predators in our midst. The Lopez bill gives them continuing cover to abuse our children.” Lonnie Soury, a spokesman for Survivors for Justice, a group of abuse survivors who grew up in Orthodox communities, urged the legislators to “stop playing politics with our children’s lives. Any support for the Lopez bill is at the behest of, and in the interest of, the Church and a few Orthodox Jewish institutions and not designed to protect children and their families from predators.” No date has been set for either bill to go the Assembly floor for a vote. The powerful Assembly speaker, Sheldon Silver, has supported Markey’s bill in the past — it has passed the Assembly three times and been blocked in the Senate — but has apparently not offered his support this time around. n
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From: asher lipner <lipnera@gmail.com> Date: Wed, Apr 1, 2009 at 8:12 PM Subject: [jewishadvocates] Fwd: Fwd: Brooklyn DA Charles Hynes presses to expose sex abuse in Jewish community To: jewishadvocates@yahoogroups.com
On Wed, Apr 1, 2009 at 12:51 PM, asher.lipner <lipnera@gmail.com> wrote:
As a therapist who works with victims of abuse, I can tell you that the difference that Chaim writes about between the words "encourage" and "invite" is significant.
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